i love my brother and sister so much words cannot even describe. they are honestly my pride and joy. i'm so proud of everything they have accomplished already in their short lives. they are seriously going to change the world somehow in their own little way.
i have no regrets in any way - i gave up my own life for these kids when mommy passed away. and it just goes to show that it has definitely paid off. is it safe to say i'm proud of myself as well? these kids are a reflection of me, and exactly the way my mother would have raised them if she were still with us. it's definitely hard doing something when you're trying to please the most stubborn angel in heaven. but you know what? everything has been worth it. pain, sweat, blood, tears - everything. the smile on my sister's face is pure evidence.
it's in my plan to keep these kids happy and well-grounded. i sound repetitive, but i love them so much. i lost yet another friend this week to suicide and i'm making a promise right now to myself and the ones that i love that i will NEVER again think of suicide as the answer. people need me in this world - especially those two kids. i don't ever want to cause them, or anyone else for the matter, that pain that i have felt over and over again. there has to be another way . . .
i just want everyone to celebrate their life tonight. people say that there are no second chances in life - but i honestly believe that i have received that second chance. not quite there yet - but i'm almost back to life.
ciao,
m
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